Napoleon, the Great? More Like the Great Lover than Warrior!

Ridley Scott's Napoleon: Less Battles, More Heartbeats! A Peek at the Softer Side of the Commander in a No-Holds-Barred Review!

The Card

• Director: Ridley Scott, a maestro of visuals, but this time maybe not so much of history.
• Genre: Action? Yes. Adventure? Maybe. Melodrama? Absolutely!
• Duration: 158 minutes of love and a bit of history.
• Year: 2023, the year Napoleon went all romantic on us.
• Main Actors: Joaquin Phoenix, Vanessa Kirby - a Napoleon more in love than emperor.
• Platform: Available on Apple TV+ - perfect for a couch and slippers evening, history optional.

Love and Battles: Napoleon's Face in a Film You Wouldn't Expect!

So, picture Napoleon, yes, that guy with the famous hat, but this time he's less into conquering Europe and more into... well, conquering hearts. In this Moore-esque adaptation, Napoleon (played by a Joaquin Phoenix who seems to have shelved the Joker for a military coat) is a mix of charismatic general and passionate lover.

The plot unfolds following our hero's amorous escapades as he navigates the storms of a tumultuous Europe and the dilemmas of the heart. There's Josephine, played by Vanessa Kirby, who seems like she's stepped right out of a Spanish novela, with a talent for tears and stolen kisses in the corridors of opulent palaces. Their relationship is a rollercoaster of burning passions and fiery jealousies, with Napoleon appearing more interested in penning love letters than battle orders.

In this alternate universe, the Napoleonic wars are more of a backdrop than the main event, kind of like those uninvited boring guests at a party.

Among all this, there's no shortage of secondary characters straight out of a Moore novel: a Talleyrand who seems more like a court gossip than a diplomat, a Wellington who seems more like a bored English gentleman than a general, and a cast of courtiers moving through intrigues and subterfuges as if they're in an episode of "Gossip Girl" in imperial attire.

Overall, it's a plot that takes history, mixes it with a good dose of romantic drama, and serves it with a self-satisfied smile, just like Christopher Moore would. Napoleon, the man of war, here is more a telenovela hero, a character who battles more with his emotions than with enemy armies.

Napoleon Reinvented: A Romantic Epic or a Historical Flop?

So, Ridley Scott decides to make a film about Napoleon, right? And you think, "Wow, this is going to be an epic movie with battles, brilliant strategies, and a bit of European history," but instead, you find yourself watching something like "Napoleon: The Chronicles of the Heart." Yes, our friend Ridley has taken one of history's greatest commanders and turned him into a protagonist of a costume soap opera.

First off, the direction. Ridley Scott is a visual wizard, we all know that. The scenes are a riot of colors, period-accurate costumes, and each shot could be a painting in an art gallery. But that's where the artistic side ends. The plot? An emotional rollercoaster that leaves you a bit perplexed if you're a history buff and not a melodrama lover.

Then there's Joaquin Phoenix. He goes all out in his role as Napoleon, but it almost seems like he's lost in the plot, desperately trying to figure out if he's acting in a historical film or an extended episode of "The Bold and the Beautiful." His Napoleon is more focused on romantic relationships than battles, which is a bit strange, considering we're talking about the guy who almost conquered Europe.

And Vanessa Kirby as Josephine? She does her best with the material she has, which is, let's face it, more suited to a telenovela than a historical film. Their chemistry is undeniable, but sometimes you wonder if you're not watching an alternative version of "Romeo and Juliet" with a bit more politics and less poison.

The narrative structure is a bit like a roller coaster built by a first-year engineering student: thrilling, but not always safe or sensible. 

In conclusion, "Napoleon" is a film that doesn't quite know what it wants to be: a historical drama or a romantic melodrama. It leaves you with more questions than answers, especially about the choice to transform a historical figure into a romantic hero. Rating? Let's give it a 6/10, because in the end, a bit of romance never hurts, even if you are Napoleon.

Why I Recommend It

If you're a hidden romantic or a lover of historical dramas with a soap opera touch, this movie is for you. "Napoleon" will show you a different side of a man remembered quite differently by history.

Why I Don't Recommend It

If you're looking for battles, strategies, and the real story of Napoleon, maybe it's better to stick to a history book. Here, the battlefield is the heart, not Europe.